Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
