and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
where are my eyebrows?
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