can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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