my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
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