You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
