hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
