I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
birth control should be required to get into college
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
