Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
