Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
