At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
