maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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