i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
