there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We left the knife in your bed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
