i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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