The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
