Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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