Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
