Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
