Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
