very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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