this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
