even my farts smell like vagina
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
