haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
