There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
