i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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