pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
