I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
