i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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