he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
