what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
