i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
one might say we're banned from that church
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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