I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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