I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
