also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
