btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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