Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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