So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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