bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
