maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
tell me about the eggs
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