I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
