So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize