I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
