im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
