She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
