I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
