i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
His nipple licking is glorious
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