Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
