I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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