then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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