O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
