Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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