why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
