The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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