he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
