I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
