But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
