But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
