I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
