Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
