Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
