She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
