BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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