He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
