Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize