she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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