You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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