I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This toilet bowl is my home.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
