So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
