thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Buhtt sex?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize