Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This house was built for laser tag.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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