uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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