I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
