I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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