so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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